Twelve Steps To Overcoming Blog Addiction

1. Admit you have a problem. Come on, you know you do, right. There you admitted it. You are powerless against the wiles of the blog.
2. Believe that there is a transcendent, yet personal, ‘Higher Power’, that can bring you back from your insane meanderings, sort of like the ‘force’ with Anakin Skywalker, who insanely followed the ‘darkside’ until he found the good within and the ‘force’ brought him back to sanity(true story). Your Higher Power can rescue you from the ‘blogside’ of the ‘force’.
3. Make a decision to turn your love for blogging over to the transcendent, yet personal, Higher Power of your choice.
4. Search yourself for morality (who knows?, you might find something).
5. Tell others you were wrong to blog 24/7, hoping Phil would throw out some meat to be chewed up and regurgitated on your own blog (pretty much like this whole blogsite). (I’m just using his first name and not linking to his blog as an experiment to see if he knows everything everybody says about him, or if his blogspotting is just internet prowess.) Oh yeah, tell yourself and the transcendant, yet personal, Higher Power of your choice all that stuff I just said about the topic under consideration at this point in time.
6. Get ready for the transcendant, yet personal, Higher Power of your choice to remove all your defects of character (i.e. Looking at Phil’s blog and lusting over it, arguing minute points about whether world means world or ‘world’, or still yet, “world”, stating emphatically that it definitely does not mean ‘”WORLD”‘, etc…) He (She) is going to do it. You’ll wake up one morning and they’ll be gone. You’ll look at yourself in the mirror and say, “Hey, what happened to all my defects of character?”
7. Bow your eyes, head, heart, and knees to the transcendant, yet personal, Higher Power of your choice and ask Him (Her) to remove all your shortcomings in having a blog that isn’t read, viewed, or spoken of in mixed company (like this one).
8. Make a list of everyone who has ever glanced at your blog in passing (if you’ve been blogspotted like ME, then list everyone who has ever commented at Phil’s blog, add your mom, and, Voila! there’s your list).
9. Apologize for causing them mental and emotional distress through your personal blog and your comments on other blogs. (I’m sorry.)
10. Continue to take inventory of yourself and your blog and your comments on other blogs apologizing each time you click the publish button.
11. Pray to the transcendant, yet personal, Higher Power of your choice, asking Him to reveal His (Her) will for you and your blog, and the power to do whatever it is that you’re supposed to do (like push the delete button).
12. Experience the spiritual awakening brought on by submission to the transcendent, yet personal, Higher Power of your choice, and carry the good news of the blogspel to every blogtion, blogdred, blogples, and bloguages.

May the blog be with you. John 3:16

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1 Comment

Filed under blogginess, humor

One response to “Twelve Steps To Overcoming Blog Addiction

  1. Steve Weaver

    You’re just weird, man!

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